You're Not Alone
by rikalynch
Summary: Jeff visits his less-than-accepting family and comes back to school on Monday completely distraught. When Nick confronts him, he starts to realize just how broken he really is. Neff
1. Chapter 1

Jeff walked into the Warbler's common room Monday afternoon, looking distraught and tired. He had gone home for the weekend and hadn't called Nick all weekend, something highly unusual for him. He normally sat next to Nick's left, but this time he sat to Nick's right, something Nick definitely noticed. "Hey," Jeff murmured.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked his boyfriend.

"I'll tell you later," he whispered and sank into his seat. Nick was going to protest, but Wes banged his gavel, demanding the Warbler's attention. Nick tried to put his hand on Jeff's knee like he usually did, but Jeff whimpered and cowered away from the touch. Nick withdrew his hand, frowning. "Don't," Jeff whispered.

"Sorry," Nick whispered back, intertwining his fingers.

"Warblers," Wes called, gaining Nick's attention. "We will now cast a vote on the song we are going to perform tomorrow night. All in favour of _Pressure,_ by Paramore?" A few people raised their hands. "_Your Guardian Angel_, by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus?" Most of the room raised their hand, including Nick and Jeff, who raised his hand only high enough for Wes to see it, still keeping it close to his body, shaking.

When Warblers practice ended, Jeff stood up and looked like he wanted to run away from the room. Nick warned him with a look and stood beside him. "Want to go for a walk?" He asked quietly, and Jeff nodded sullenly. They walked outside and sat down on a bench, watching students pass by. "What's wrong?" Nick finally whispered.

"I really don't want to talk about it, Nick," Jeff sighed. "I-I just had a bad weekend. That's all."

"Then how come you have a bruise on your face?" Nick turned towards Jeff.

"I thought I put makeup over that, _fuck,_" Jeff muttered to himself. "I'm sorry."

"For what, you didn't do anything..." Nick said, and held his hand out. Jeff sighed and timidly put his hand into Nick's. "Listen to me, babe, I know there's something up, and I know you don't want to tell me, but I... I'm worried, honey, you're jumpy, and you're shutting everyone out. You know when you did this before? In grade eight when those bullies beat the shit out of us. Jeff, please."

"Fine," Jeff sighed. "I went home this weekend. Like, actually went _home,_" he whispered. "I didn't go to my aunt Melissa's this time, I went to my mom and dad's, to get some stuff and talk to them. And I..." He sighed again. "They spent the entire time telling me how... How I was ugly, stupid, and worthless and I didn't deserve to live. All because I'm in love with you, Nick. You don't know how much it hurt to have to listen to that. Why can't I just be gay in peace? Does it come with the unwritten rule that you're going to get hell from everyone?"

Nick frowned, and Jeff continued. "I mean... That wasn't the worst of it. My dad... When my mom left to go to work, he... He beat the crap out of me."

"Jeff," Nick whispered, pulling him into a hug. Jeff whimpered. "Shit, fuck, Jeff, I'm sorry... Let's go back into the dorm, okay?"

Jeff, teary-eyed, agreed. They walked into their shared dorm and Jeff collapsed on his bed, his body wracking with sobs. Nick was torn, he wanted to comfort Jeff, but was scared of hurting him. He settled on sitting next to him and running his fingers through Jeff's hair. Jeff was hugging his pillow, sobbing into it. "Fuck," he yelled into it.

"I know, babe," Nick said. "Just let it all out."

Soon enough, Jeff's sobs had subsided and he sat up, looking at Nick with begging eyes. "I love you," he whispered.

"I know, I love you too," Nick said, scooting closer to Jeff and kissing him softly. He pulled away and rested his forehead against his boyfriend's. "C-Can I... Can I see what he did to you? I-I wanna make sure you're okay..."

"Yeah," Jeff breathed. "That's fine." He stood up, discarding his blazer on the bed. He kicked his shoes off, and then took his tie off. With a sigh, he unbuttoned his pants and stepped out of them, and undid his shirt. He pulled his shirt open, but didn't take it off.

"Fuck," Nick breathed, taking in the damage on Jeff's body. There were bruises covering his legs, torso and there was one on Jeff's chest that looked particularly bad.

"He-he threw me down the stairs," Jeff whispered.

"What about your arms?" Nick asked, still observing the bruises on his boyfriend's body.

"I-No, they're-they're fine, he didn't do anything to them," Jeff answered quickly, eyes wide.

"Jeff," Nick warned. "I know you're lying. Let me see them, please?"

Jeff sighed. "You have to promise you're not gonna freak out, okay?"

"Is it... That bad?" Nick stammered. "I mean, I know you're self-conscious about the scars on your arms, but you know I've seen them a bunch of times..."

"That's the thing," Jeff said, peeling his shirt off. He held his arms in front of his body. "You have to know I'm showing you this because I trust you fully. Please don't yell at me..." He sighed and flipped his arms over to reveal a couple of rows of cuts, each one deeper than the last.

"Jeff!" Nick cried out. "Jeff, you promised me you'd stop. Jeff, please," Nick took Jeff's left arm, examining the cuts. Nick felt a tear slide down his face, and he pulled Jeff's arm closer, kissing each of the cuts. "Please..." He whispered. "Don't do it again."

"I tried," Jeff sighed. "It's harder than you think, you know."

"I know," Nick sighed.

x-x-x-x-x

The next day was a casual day at the school. Go figure, right? While everyone, including Nick, was wearing shorts and a t-shirt due to the hot weather, Jeff wore one of Nick's soccer sweaters and a pair of ripped jeans, which earned him a good amount of weird looks. He sat out of gym, cursing himself for taking the damn class again.

At Warbler's practice, he was sweating profusely and leaning heavily on Nick. When they all got up to sing, he stayed seated, in a daze. "Jeff?" Nick whispered, swallowing hard. "You okay, baby?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine," he said, standing. He began to sway, and fell back onto the couch, earning a few weird looks from the boys around him.

"Jeff," Nick warned sternly. He softened up when Jeff looked at him with puppy-dog eyes. "Shit, Jeff, are you okay?" Jeff shook his head.

"Gonna throw up," Jeff muttered, trying to stand again. "H'lp me."

"Yeah," Nick said, taking Jeff's arm and putting it around him. "C'mere," he said, and helped Jeff out of the common room, earning more weird looks. He helped Jeff limp into the bathroom, where he fell to his knees in front of a toilet, gagging. "Shit, Jeff," Nick whispered.

He responded by throwing up everything he had eaten at lunch—which was not a lot. Nick kneeled behind Jeff, rubbing his back.

"Nick? Jeff?" Kurt asked awkwardly from the door. "You alright?" He cringed when he heard Jeff gag again. "I'll take that as a no," he said.

"'m fine," Jeff groaned. "Just a little stomach ache," he sat up, glaring at the toilet before flushing it. Kurt walked over to Nick and wordlessly handed him a container of mints before leaving the room. Nick smiled, pocketing it.

"C'mon, let's get you back to bed," Nick said, helping Jeff stand.

"'mfine," he muttered. "We have practice," he said, walking over to the sink and splashing cold water on his face.

"Nope," Nick said, and walked over to the paper towel dispenser, getting a few and folding them before running cold water over them. He walked over to Jeff and backed him into the wall, putting the paper towel on his forehead. Nick put his hand on Jeff's cheek, making sure it wasn't the one with the bruise on it. "Fuck, baby, you're burning up."

"'don't care," he mumbled. "I'm going back, Wes is gonna kill me, I've already missed five practices."

"You're sick, babe," Nick said. "I think you have heatstroke. What you need right now is some sleep."

"I'm gonna get killed," he said.

"Fine, but if you pass out, I'm just gonna say _I told you so._"

"Fine." Jeff sighed, and Nick handed him a few mints. Jeff thanked him and popped them in his mouth, sucking on them vigorously. They walked back into the common room, and Wes stared Jeff down.

"Nice of you two to rejoin us," Wes said.

"Back off," Nick said. "He's got heatstroke."

"Then why are you in here?" Wes asked.

"Because he wouldn't let me bring him back to his dorm." Nick sighed.

"Can we forget about this? We have more important matters on our hands." Jeff interjected. "I'll be fine." He sat down on the leather couch, burying his face in his hands. Being chewed out by Wes was _almost _as bad as missing another practice. Almost.

"You okay?" Nick whispered to him, and Jeff shook his head, sighing. Nick sat down next to Jeff, pulling him in close. "You really should lie down," he said, and Jeff sighed again.

"I'm _fine,_" Jeff hissed, and stood up, joining the other boys in the circle they were standing in. Nick sighed and followed him, and on the count of Wes's hand, they all began to sing guitar parts.

"_When I see your smile, tears roll down my face, I can't replace," _Blaine started. "_And now that I'm strong I have figured out, how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul, and I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one." _

"_I will never let you fall; I'll stand up for you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you..." _Kurt joined in.

"_Sends me to heaven,"_ they both sang. Blaine opened his mouth to start the next verse.

_Thud._ "Shit, Jeff," Nick said, dropping to his knees next to Jeff, who was now lying on the floor, eyes closed. "Jeff?"

"Is he okay?" Blaine asked gingerly.

"Y-Yeah, can someone go get me a cloth with cold water on it?" Nick asked, fanning Jeff off with a binder on the nearby table. He saw Kurt duck out of the room almost immediately, with Blaine following him like a puppy dog. Nick rolled his eyes and went back to Jeff.

"Maybe you should take his sweater off?" Wes suggested.

"Shit, no," Nick said. Wes stared at him. "I-I mean he could go into shock if he gets too cold too fast, it's gotta be done gradually." He stammered out an excuse. The last thing he wanted was for the others to see the bruises on Jeff's chest; he knew they'd treat him differently.

Kurt re-entered the room and handed the cloth to Nick, who put it on Jeff's forehead. "Blaine?" He asked, knowing Blaine was strong for his size. "Can you help me get him into my dorm?"

Blaine nodded, and wordlessly picked him up in a bridal carry. "Shit, man," Nick said. "Forgot how strong you were." Blaine nodded, and Nick led him to his dorm. Blaine set Jeff down on the bed and walked away quietly. Nick closed and locked the door and stripped Jeff of his clothes. He ran into the bathroom and turned the shower on; making sure the water was a nice, coolish temperature. He walked back into the bedroom, where Jeff was muttering something. "Hey, you okay?" Nick asked, walking back over to him.

"Where the hell are my clothes?" Jeff asked.

"Calm down, man," Nick smiled. "You passed out."

"Shit," Jeff said. "That doesn't explain why I'm not wearing clothes."

"Just shut up," Nick said, and walked over to him, putting his arm under Jeff's, hoisting him off the bed and guiding him into the bathroom. He pushed him towards the shower, and Jeff sighed, getting in the tub and just sitting down.

"Don't wanna do anything," he mumbled.

"Yeah, but at least lower your body temperature, okay? Last time you're wearing a fucking _sweater_ on a day like this. It's ninety-five outside, are you fucking suicidal?" Nick asked, then realized what he said. "Shit, fuck, I didn't..."

"It's fine," Jeff sighed. "Can you leave me alone for a bit? 'm gonna actually shower, which involves not wearing boxers." Nick smiled, then surveyed the room. He took his razor off of the shelf and left, and he heard Jeff call after him vulgarly.

Nick sighed, plopping himself down on his bed as he re-entered the bedroom. He heard a knock on the door and answered it. "Oh, hey, Kurt," he said. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Kurt said. "Just wanted to make sure Jeff was okay." Nick moved out of Kurt's way, silently inviting him in, then closed the door. Kurt made his way over to Nick's bed and sat down on the edge.

"What's the real reason you came here?" Nick asked, plopping down in the middle of Jeff's bed.

Kurt sighed. "Why wouldn't you let Wes tell you to take Jeff's sweater off? That's the first thing you should do. It would have helped and it's not like you were dumping cold water on him, so he couldn't have gone into shock."

Nick sighed. "I-I can't tell you, Kurt, I'm sorry."

"He got beat up, didn't he?" Kurt whispered.

"Yeah," Nick said. "I didn't want Wes to see the bruises because he would have gone soft on him." Nick heard the water shut off. "Shit, Jeff's done, you should go, I'll call you later okay?" Kurt nodded and left, and Jeff called him from the bathroom. Nick walked in, and saw Jeff leaning against the counter.

"Jeff, what is it babe?"

"I feel like crap. I don't have any clothes, can you get me some?" He asked. Nick took in the sight of Jeff wearing only a towel, and sighed.

"Yeah, gimmie a sec," Nick said, walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, finding Jeff a pair of boxers, shorts and one of Nick's t-shirts (he loved to wear his boyfriend's shirts, he said they smelled like him) and brought them back to him, handing them to the blond before shutting the door to give him some privacy.

Jeff exited the room and padded over to his bed, falling face first into it and almost immediately falling asleep. Nick smiled, kissed his boyfriend's hair and then wandered off to get some coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

The next week went by without anything too note-worthy—Jeff had started eating properly again and was actually starting to look like a human being instead of just skin and bones, which made Nick more than happy. Of course, his behaviour wasn't any different. He'd been shying away from everyone, shutting them out. He wasn't opening up to Nick any more, and he was always missing Warbler practice.

"Jeff," Nick said, slamming his binder down on his desk and shutting his dormitory's door. "You haven't been talking, man, what's up?"

"Sorry," Jeff muttered, scribbling something down on a piece of paper before folding it up and putting it in his bedside table. "Haven't been in a good mood."

"Why?" Nick asked, sitting next to Jeff and taking his hand.

"I gotta go," Jeff said, standing and quickly rushing out of the dorm room. Nick muttered a string of profanities under his breath then stood up, going over to Jeff's bedside table and reaching for the note he wrote, cursing when he realised there were a few others. He opened and read them all one by one.

"_Nick, I know it's gonna be hard for you—"_

"_Nick, I love you, and you know that, but I—"_

"_Nick, you are the light of my life, but—"_

"_Nick, I love you. You are my everything. But I can't do this anymore! I'm sorry, I just have to go my own way—"_

"_Nick, I'm going to kill myself. Well, you've probably already realized it because you're reading this—"_

"_Nick, it's really hard to tell you this, but I can't do it anymore—" _

Nick shoved the offending notes back into the drawer, feeling his stomach flip. "Fuck," he said out loud. "He wants to k-fuck." He stood, getting ready to call Jeff when he noticed his phone was on the dresser. "Shit," he said, and began to scroll through his messages. He noticed a lot of messages from his father, starting with "hey, faggot," or "what's up homo?" It made him stare at Jeff's Blackberry in disgust.

He went and read Jeff's notes, hoping he could find something, and he did.

"_Nick, you obviously know me too well if you're reading this right now. Hopefully you're not reading this because I'm dead. 'Cuz baby, I don't wanna die. I love you too much. But you need to realize, I'm killing myself. I don't mean that in a determined way—I mean it as in, I'm overdosing on my sleeping pills every night by 'accident,' subconsciously not wanting to wake up. I do everything in a haze now, babe. I don't want to die, fuck no, but if I were to not wake up tomorrow morning, I certainly wouldn't be upset. I don't fucking know anymore, Nick, I need your help... Please, help me." _Nick dropped Jeff's phone and it (thankfully) didn't break. He didn't realize that he was crying until a sob ripped from his chest. He picked Jeff's phone up and put it back on the dresser where it was before.

Nick left the room, slamming the door behind him and jogging ("_no running in the halls, Mr. Duval,"_) to the library, speeding over to the spot where he knew Jeff would be. Jeff was curled up on the chair in the corner, with a copy of _Romeo and Juliet._ Nick kneeled in front of him, tears filling his eyes.

"Nick? What's wrong sweetie?" Jeff said, putting the book aside.

"You-you really want to kill yourself?" He blurted out.

"I-Yeah," Jeff sighed. "My dad's been... Making shit worse for me."

"Jeffie," Nick used the nickname he only ever used when either one of the boys was sick or hurt. "Please, don't, I can't... I won't lose you, Jeff."

"I-I... I know, Nicky," Jeff sighed. "I just... My dad said he was going to k-kill me, and I figured I'd give him the satisfaction without him having to deal with the c-consequence..."

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Nick whispered to him softly. "You don't deserve this. You shouldn't have to feel this way, baby."

That was when Jeff broke. Right there, in the middle of the library. He began to cry, his body shaking with sobs he tried to bite back. "Shit, Jeff," Nick said, and grabbed Jeff's bag, putting his arm under Jeff's and guiding him out of the library so he wouldn't interrupt the other students. When they were in the hall, Jeff began to cry on Nick's shoulder and Nick pulled him closer, rubbing circles onto his back, kissing him on the cheek. "Let it out, baby, it's the only way. You're gonna be okay."

"N-No I'm n-not, N-nick, c-cant you s-see? I'm g-gonna d-die be... because of hi-him..." Jeff hiccupped.

"No, you're not. You're not fucking going back there, ever again. He hurt you. _Nobody _touches you, you understand that?"

"I c-can't leave my dad, I n-need him..."

"The hell you do." Nick pulled away, putting his hands on Jeff's shoulders and looking him in the eye. "When the semester's over, you're gonna move in with me, okay?"

"W-what about tuition?" Jeff's eyes were still leaking tears.

"We both know my parents can afford tuition for eighteen kids at once and still have enough money for a lot more things. Let's be realistic, Jeff, money isn't an issue."

"I-I just don't want to... Intrude."

"You won't be, baby." Nick kissed Jeff tenderly before Jeff pulled him back into another hug.

"Thank you so much," he stumbled out. "I love you."

x-x-x-x-x

It was a week later, at Warbler's practice, when the issue of Jeff's cutting/suicide was brought up. Well, it wasn't aimed at Jeff, at all. He just saw it that way. You see, the conversation was along the lines of:

"It's a shame about that girl at Crawford that killed herself," Blaine muttered idly.

He got a chorus of "mhmms" and "yeahs" in response. Jeff was struck with disbelief. How could they not care?

"You're _disgusting,_" Jeff muttered under his breath and stormed out.

"What crawled up _his_ ass and died?" Trent asked, and Nick glowered at him.

"Don't," Nick warned him. He glared pointedly at Blaine, then stood to go and find his boyfriend. When he reached the door, Wes spoke up.

"Warbler Nick, I know he's having a hard time but we can't have any more of you two storming out. If you leave, I'm going to have to reconsider your spot in this choir."

When Nick turned around, Wes was about two feet away from him. "I have to make sure he's okay," he said. "I love being in the Warblers, but I love Jeff more, and he means more to me then fucking show choir _ever _will." He stepped closer to Wes, invading his personal space. "If you want to kick me off for being worried, go right the fuck ahead, nobody's stopping you. But do _not _get in the way of my relationship, you understand?" He jabbed Wes hard in the chest before storming out of the common room. He checked the halls for Jeff, and they were empty. Cursing, he went into the bathroom, mentally queuing where he would check next.

Jeff was curled into a ball on the floor in the bathroom next to a sink. "Shit, Jeff," Nick said. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay. I-I can't just sit there while they talk about sui-suicide, Nick, I can't." Nick sighed and sat down next to Jeff, kissing his temple.

"We have to go back in there though... Well, you do."

"I'm not going in alone." Jeff stared at Nick in disbelief.

"You might have to... I stood up to Wes and I think I'm off."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jeff asked Nick, snuggling back into his chest. "That's one of the stupidest things you could ever do."

"I love you more than the Warblers, you will always come first," Nick said, kissing Jeff's nose. "C'mon, let's go to the Lima Bean, I'll buy you a coffee."

x-x-x-x-x

When they arrived at the Lima Bean, Jeff had to sit down because the mixture of being in a moving car then walking had made him nauseous. Nick walked up to the counter, ordering for the both of them, and then went and sat next to Jeff, cuddling close to him.

"You feelin' okay, babe?" Nick asked with his head on Jeff's shoulder.

"I don't know," Jeff sighed, and crossed his arms on the table. Nick pouted and put his hand on Jeff's back, timidly rubbing it. Jeff put his forehead onto his forearm and started to cry. "This is so fucked up," Jeff whispered.

"I know, baby," Nick sighed, kissing the back of Jeff's neck.

"No you don't," Jeff grumbled, then murmured something that Nick couldn't hear.

"What was that, darling?" Nick continued to rub circles onto Jeff's back.

"I said it would have been easier if I would've just killed mys-self..." He said, his lip quivering.

"God damn it, Jeff, no it wouldn't have. It would've been harder."

"Why is that? Selfish reasons? Because you'd miss me?" Jeff sat up straight, moving away from Nick's touch.

"Babe, you know that's not what I meant," Nick tried to reason with him.

"Then what the fuck _did _you mean?" Jeff asked, eyebrow raised. "You know it would be easier if I wasn't here. If I was just fucking gone, because you wouldn't have to keep watch over me every second of the day. You wouldn't have to worry if I had taken too many pills, or if I had found another razor."

"Jeff," Nick started. "It would be harder without you, the physical grief of losing you alone, and I'd feel so guilty... Jeff, please, you're being a bit unreasonable don't you think?"

"Oh, _I'm _being unreasonable? Fuck you, Nick." Jeff picked up his coffee and left the café. Nick chased after him, leaving his coffee on the table.

"Jeff, please, stop," he said, running after him.

Jeff stopped in his tracks. He turned around, and said "No, I'm _done_ listening to you, Nick. We're done, you got it?" Jeff took the lid off of his scalding hot coffee and poured it on Nick's head, running away from him as fast as he could. Nick sighed, knowing he'd never be able to keep up with Jeff, who had won first place in so many cross country races he lost count. He trudged back to his car with tears falling freely from his face, rooting around in the back seat as he looked for the towel he knew he had in there, then opening the trunk looking for a shirt. He shucked his tie and blazer off, throwing them into the trunk and then worked on his ruined button-down. He sighed, whipping it inside the trunk then drying himself off with the towel, his hair sticky and frazzled. He pulled the t-shirt over his head and slammed the trunk hatch closed, walking to the front of his car and driving back to Dalton, looking for Jeff the entire way there.

Nick sighed and walked to his trunk again, figuring if Jeff was anywhere, he'd be in the dorm room. He went over to his Dalton blazer and took the Warbler's pin off of it, the tears that were in his eyes spilling over again. He cursed and slammed the trunk again, making his way into the school. He trudged into the common room where a few Warblers still sat, chatting amongst themselves. He walked over to Wes and put the pin in front of him.

"Are you resigning?" Thad asked him.

"No," Nick said.

"Then why are you giving this back?" Wes asked, picking up the (coffee-stained) pin.

"Figured I was kicked off." He said with a shrug.

"I understand what you're going through right now, Warbler Nick," Wes said, sliding the pin back in his direction. "I trust it won't happen again?"

"You bet your sweet ass it won't," Nick grumbled. "Jeff dumped me. And on me."

"The first part I understand, but... What?" Thad said, raising his eyebrow.

"He dumped his coffee on me," Nick explained in a timid voice. "He was really, really pissed."

"What did you say?" Blaine asked, coming up behind him, putting a hand on the small of his back.

"I don't know," Nick sighed. "One minute I'm comforting him and the next he's yelling at me, telling me to fuck off, then breaking up with me."

"I think he just needs some time," Blaine whispered. "You can stay in my dorm tonight, Derek went home for the week because of some family emergency, so his bed is clear."

"Thanks," Nick said and sighed again. "I'm gonna go take a shower..." He picked up his pin from the table in front of him and left without another word, silent tears falling down his face. When he got into the hall, he (literally) ran into Jeff. "Hey," he said, noticing that Jeff had his Warbler's pin in his hand too. "You quitting?"

"With you on the team?" Jeff asked. "Definitely."

Jeff shoved Nick to the side and went to enter the common room when Nick turned around. "Just because we're not dating anymore _doesn't_ mean you can fucking push me around like I'm nothing."

"You're nothing to _me,_" Jeff hissed.

"I still love you," Nick whispered, and Jeff nodded.

"I know." With that he turned around and walked into the common room.

"I wasn't fucking _done_ with you, Sterling!" Nick called after him, walking behind him. "We need to fucking talk about this, I'm _not_ letting you run away from this. This isn't just a scraped knee anymore. You broke the whole fucking leg."

"So now it's _my _fault? You're going to pin this on _me?_ Are you fucking stupid?"

"I know full well whose fault it is," Nick hissed, stepping closer to Jeff. "But you're just making it worse than it has to be."

"What do you suggest I do? Ignore it?" Jeff yelled, oblivious to the six boys watching their argument.

"No! I'm suggesting you fucking _talk_ about it, like you're supposed to."

"Fine, Nick! What do you want to know? You already know everything there is. My father is an alcoholic, abusive dickhead who can't accept the fact that his son's gay, my mother is a fucking moronic bitch who follows whatever my father says, and the only living family I have to go to is fucking dying! You know this, what else do you want to know? I'm fucking suicidal, and all you care about is getting me to stop. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't _want_ to stop? That I don't want to get better? Maybe I'm happy living like this, knowing that when I go home on the weekends I'm going to get thrown down the stairs, or knowing that you're going to go fucking bat shit on me if I have more than two sleeping pills in my hand. And fucking look at you, Nick! You're _perfect._ You get straight A's when I can barely pull C's half the time, you're fucking rich, your mother loves you and your father is always off on business trips so it doesn't matter that he's a homophobe! All _that _on your side and you have the balls to try and tell me you understand what I'm going through? You're a damn hypocrite, Nick! If I didn't love you so much I would have punched you in the fucking face already!" Jeff screamed at Nick, poking him and shoving him to punctuate his sentences. Wes looked like he was going to interject, but all he could do was sit there and watch with his jaw slack. Jeff opened his mouth to say something, but instead reached out, slapping Nick as hard as he could on the side of the face. He punched him in the stomach, then grabbed onto his neck, kneeing him in the stomach where he had punched him then kicked him in the shin. He grabbed his wrist and took his Warbler's pin, pulling it across his exposed skin. "Now you fucking understand what I'm going through—just the _physical_ parts. So fuck you, Nick." With that he threw his pin at Wes, who barely caught it, then stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Nick fell to his knees, clutching his wrist and hanging his head, sobbing. Kurt was at his side in two seconds and was silently warning everyone to back off. He pulled Nick into a hug, not saying anything, just letting the boy cry. Nick sobbed into Kurt's blazer, grabbing fistfuls of it, babbling incoherencies about Jeff. Kurt shushed him, rocking him slightly. Blaine had ventured into the small storage room where they kept guitars, a few keyboards and a disassembled drum kit, and grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink. He walked over to where Kurt and Nick sat, and Kurt untangled Nick's fingers from his shirt, intertwining his into Nick's. "You're gonna be okay," he whispered, and moved Nick's arm towards Blaine. The cut, thankfully, wasn't too deep but it was pretty long, and there was a lot of bright red blood coming from it. "This is gonna hurt for a minute," Kurt whispered to Nick, then removed his fingers from the shorter boy's, and then squeezed his arm. He quickly removed his own tie and wrapped it around Nick's arm a few inches away from the cut, creating a tourniquet.

Blaine began to wipe the blood from the cut, and Nick looked away from it, sobbing. He couldn't believe Jeff would do something like that. Blaine soaked a cotton ball in rubbing alcohol and began to clean the cut off, which had Nick screaming into Kurt's shirt. Kurt and Blaine shared a worried look, and Kurt took his attention away from the tourniquet and brought it to hugging Nick tightly, squeezing him and whispering reassurances. Blaine continued, drying off the cut before wrapping the gauze around it, taping it together with medical tape and taking Kurt's tie off of Nick's neck.

"T-thank you," Nick breathed, and Kurt nodded.

"It's okay," Kurt said, rocking Nick.

"I h-have to go s-see if J-he's alright," Nick stammered, realizing it was too painful to say the other boy's name.

"No," Kurt said. "You're not going near him right now, not while he's in such a violent mood."

"I h-have to," Nick said, and Kurt sighed.

"Fine, but Blaine and I are going with you," Kurt said, helping Nick to stand. Nick contemplated the offer, and eventually nodded. Kurt wrapped his arm around the shorter boy's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "Good." They walked to Nick's dorm room, and Nick opened the door timidly, poking his head inside first.

"Jeff?" He whispered, and then opened the door fully. He couldn't see Jeff anywhere, so he walked inside. The door to the bathroom was shut, so he walked over to that, putting his ear to the door. He heard water running and figured Jeff was taking a shower. He sighed, using his last resort. "Jeff, hurry up," he said, catching his smile before he cracked it. "Code Red."

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other with questioning looks, but decided to ignore it.

"I'm coming in," he said. "It's really bad." He sighed and tried the handle, and thank god, it was open. What he saw next made his heart drop through the floor. Jeff was in the bathtub, a note clutched tight in his hand that was hanging out of the tub. The other arm, as well as the wrist, was covered in a gash that went from his forearm to the tip of his wrist. It was leaking blood profusely, dyeing the water around him red. Nick ran over to him, shutting the water off and ripping his shirt off, holding it against Jeff's wrist, applying as much pressure as he could to it, silently hoping he wasn't too late.

**I'm really a terrible person, aren't I? Oh well. I have chapter three written already, so I'm holding it random for one review. Yeah, I'm not one of **_**those**_** people who expect a ridiculous amount of reviews for the next chapter. Sorry for the evil cliffhanger, I have to start writing fluffy happy Klainebows (Neffbows?) again, because everything I write lately is either sad angsty stuff where people die or sex ;-;. Even though writing sex is a good time, (coughwishesinthenightskycough) Fluff is the best time! (). Also—I love you all! Just thought I'd throw that out there. Hello long author's note. Goodbye, readers. Remember—Reviews: Good. Drugs: BAD. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

"Kurt, fucking call an ambulance!" Nick yelled to Kurt who was already on the phone with the paramedics. Blaine came up behind him, putting an arm on Nick's shoulder quickly before putting his fingers to Jeff's neck, feeling for a pulse. "Is he alive?" Nick stammered.

"Yeah," Blaine said. "He's got a pretty good pulse, the cut has to be pretty recent, his breathing is steady. Calm down, Nick, he's gonna be okay." Blaine took the note from Jeff's fingers because their death grip was loosening. He stuffed it into his pocket and sighed. "We've got to get him out onto the bed, though. If I lift him, do you think you could keep that shirt to the wound?"

Nick nodded, and Blaine lifted Jeff from the tub, Nick immediately standing and crushing the shirt into Jeff's wrist. Blaine brought him to his bed and covered him with a blanket.

"He wanted to live," Nick said, now sitting next to Jeff on the bed, still holding the shirt to his wrist.

"How do you know that?" Blaine asked, trying to calm Nick down with conversation.

"Look, he's wearing his boxers. That means he knew he was gonna be found and saved. I know this kid inside out."

"Yeah," Blaine said. "I guess you're right." He heard the water in the bathtub slowly swirling down the drain, and Kurt came back into the bedroom from the bathroom, standing behind Nick and massaging his shoulders softly. Kurt was crying as well as Nick and Blaine, but like Blaine he was quiet, where Nick was a mess. Tears were falling from his eyes and he was sobbing and babbling, while Blaine and Kurt were just allowing simple, silent tears to fall.

"Thank you," Nick breathed.

"I'm gonna go wait for the ambulance," Kurt said, withdrawing his hands from Nick's shoulders. "Tell them where to go."

"Alright," Nick said. "Can you toss me that shirt?" He asked, and Kurt bent down to get the shirt that was sitting on the ground right next to him. He threw it to Blaine, who ripped it in half and folded it hastily, quickly helping Nick replace the shirt he was using to stop Jeff's bleeding. Blaine tossed the bloodied shirt in the general direction of the bathroom and checked Jeff's pulse again.

"He's not gonna last much longer," Blaine whispered. "Damn medics better get here soon."

Hearing that broke Nick's heart even more, but he just nodded, sniffling audibly. Two minutes later, four medics with a stretcher burst into the room, Kurt running in behind him. They put Jeff onto the stretcher, and Nick silently thanked god or whoever was listening that his room was on the first floor. The wrapped a whole lot of gauze around Jeff's cut and then rushed him to the ambulance.

"Come on," Kurt said. "I'll drive you two." Nick sighed and threw a shirt on and followed them out of the door and into Kurt's car. The ride to Westerville Hospital was silent, and the three boys rushed out of the car and into the waiting room, hoping to hear good news soon. Blaine silently sat down, and Kurt allowed Nick to sit between them. Nick put his head on Kurt's shoulder, sobbing again, and Blaine traced patterns into his back.

"He's gonna be alright," Kurt assured him, wrapping an arm around him and hugging him closely. "He's strong."

After a few hours of waiting, Nick was starting to get restless, walking up and down the waiting room, and finally he sat back down, huffing. He took out his phone and started to play Angry Birds, and Kurt sighed. "I'm gonna hit the restroom then see if they sell coffee anywhere, do you two want anything?"

Nick shook his head, and Blaine nodded his, pointing to Nick and mouthing, _get him something anyways._ Kurt half-smiled and walked away, walking into the bathroom and relieving his aching bladder, then walking in silence to the cafeteria, mixing sugar and milk into two of the coffees, only sugar into Nick's, then putting them on a tray, walking them back to Blaine and Nick. Nick was clenching a piece of paper, tears falling down his face as he read, and Blaine was rubbing patterns into the crying boy's arm. Kurt felt his heart break a little, and silently offered coffees to both of the boys. Blaine took his and gratefully sipped at it, as did Nick. Kurt smiled and walked over to the trash bin, tossing the tray into it then kneeling in front of Nick, putting his coffee on the floor underneath Blaine's seat.

"I-I can't read this," Nick said, shoving it away from him. "I-I can't see anything right now."

"Do you want me to read it out loud?" Blaine whispered, and Nick nodded.

"_Nick, I know you're going to find me first, you always had that power. You're going to bust in here, saying there's a Code Red like you used to every time I was showering. You're going to find me and you're going to break. What I want you to do is let me bleed out, Nick. You don't deserve to have to deal with me anymore." _Blaine stopped, choking on his words because he too, had started to cry. "_I'm going to die, sure, and it's gonna hurt for a while, but everybody dies eventually. Remember what you said when your Nona died? 'Sure, it hurts, and hell yeah I loved her, but I've been grieving for way too long, it's time to move on.' That's what I want you to do with me. I want you to move on and be happy. Find someone who's worth being with—" _

"Stop." Nick said. "I-I can't listen to that anymore."

Blaine nodded, pocketing the note. He hugged Nick again, pulling him onto his lap and letting him sob into his shirt. "He's strong," Blaine whispered. "The doctors are gonna take good care of him, and he's gonna get better. Come on, Nick, you know that."

"I know, but the voice inside of my head keeps telling me we were too late, that he's gonna die, and I can't stop going over in my head what would have happened if I hadn't gone to check on him." Nick mumbled into Blaine's shirt.

"He loves you, you know." Blaine said.

"Why are you so sure?"

"The note," Blaine sighed. "The sentence after where you told me to stop has him talking about how much he loves you."

"Can you read it to me?" Nick asked after a few minutes. Blaine nodded and pulled the note out of his pocket again, hugging Nick. Nick snuggled back into his neck, not noticing Kurt had walked away.

"I'm just gonna pick up where I left off..." Blaine said, then hummed for a minute until he found his spot. "_Who can provide for you and make you happy, love you like I did. Fuck yeah, I loved you Nick, I still do and I always will. When I told you I'd never stop loving you, I meant it. I need you to remember that. When you're remembering me, I don't want you to remember this fight. I don't want you to think that I died thinking you hated me, because I know you didn't. I __know__ you, and I know you'll do that. So this right here is me telling you not to. I will always love you, and that's the only thing I want you to remember me for, is our love. I'm sorry it had to end this way, Agent Three. I love you forever and always. Love, Agent Six."_

Hearing their code names, Nick burst out into sobs again. Blaine squeezed him.

"Do you want to talk about something else?"

"No, I want to talk about Jeff. Can you ask me questions?" Nick sighed.

"Sure," Blaine said. "Agent Three and Six?"

"It's how many times we've auditioned for solos," Nick explained. "We call each other by that sometimes."

"Oh," Blaine said, smiling brokenheartedly. "You said something about Code Red earlier?"

Nick blushed. "When we were kids, we used to have sleepovers every weekend and every day during the summer. We'd get muddy a lot, so our moms would stick us in the bath, and his house only had one bathroom, so whenever either of us was in there and the other had to... _Go,_ we'd bang on the door and say Code Red..." Nick smiled at the memory.

Blaine chuckled, hugging Nick closer. "What's his favourite movie?"

"Aladdin," Nick smiled.

"Colour, song, band and food?"

"His favourite colour was always a mash-up between blue and purple—he liked to call it _blurple_, where I just argued that it's fucking indigo. His favourite song is _Songbird_ by Fleetwood Mac, and his favourite band is Breaking Benjamin. His favourite food usually changes with the season—in the winter it's something cheesy and hot, like macaroni casserole, and in the summer it's something light like chicken caeser salad."

"Hmm," Blaine pondered, trying to distract Nick as much as possible. "What about his favourite book, author, and... Brand of peanut butter?" Blaine tried.

"His favourite book is _Blaze_ by Stephen King, his favourite Author is J.K. Rowling and he's allergic to peanuts, but before he developed the allergy it was Jiffy."

"Damn," Blaine said. "How many instruments does he play, and how long has he played them?"

"He plays nine," Nick said, earning a whistle from Blaine. "Ten if you ask him. He plays the piano; he started when he was three, guitar, when he was six. He plays clarinet, saxophone, flute, oboe, and trumpet; he played those from third grade on. He's played the bass guitar since he was ten, and he's played the drums since he was fifteen." Nick counted off his fingers, making sure he didn't miss anything. "And the tenth is the microphone."

Blaine chuckled. "How many languages does he speak?"

"He speaks fluent sarcasm," Nick joked. "He's fluent in French, English and knows a lot of Portuguese—like enough to keep up a conversation with his Portuguese-only speaking grandmother, but not enough that you can ask him how to say fuck and he has to look it up." Nick giggled.

"What's his natural hair colour?"

"I'm sworn to secrecy on that one, sorry." Nick smiled, and Blaine stuck his tongue out.

"How much does he weigh?"

"A hundred and thirty-two pounds," Nick said.

Blaine was about to ask him another question when a nurse called out "Family of Jeffrey Sterling?" Nick stood off of Blaine's lap, and walked over to the nurse. "Relation?"

"His family isn't here," Nick said. "And they probably won't be. I'm his best friend, can I please see him?"

"I'm afraid not," the nurse said. "He's comatose right now, so without his consent or his family's, I can't let anybody but family see him right now."

"I'm his family," Kurt said from behind the nurse. "Kurt Sterling," he mentally winced. "First cousin."

"Alright," the nurse said. "You verify that this man is his best friend, and he's allowed to see him?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah, Jeff would definitely want that too."

"Alright," she said. "Right this way, then." Nick smiled, thanking Kurt with a nod before scurrying off behind the nurse. "Aren't you coming?" She asked Kurt, who shook his head.

"I'll visit later; Nick needs to be alone with him for a bit." Kurt said timidly, and the nurse gave him a questioning look before leading Nick to Jeff's room.

"That was a bold move, sweetie," Blaine said as Kurt sat next to him, leaning over to grab his coffee from under Blaine's chair.

"My heart was racing a hundred miles a minute; I didn't think she would actually buy it."

"I'm glad she did," Blaine kissed Kurt's temple; happy they were the only ones in the small waiting room.

A half hour passed before Nick came back from Jeff's room with tears in his eyes. Kurt frowned and took him into his arms. The shorter boy sobbed into Kurt's shirt.

"H-he looked s-so broken," Nick babbled. "I-I can't..."

"I know," Kurt said, rocking Nick back and forth slightly. "Are you hungry?" Kurt asked, not loosening his grip on Nick's shoulders. He felt Nick nod, and smiled a bit. "Where do you want to go?"

"Denny's?" Nick whispered. Kurt smiled, and led them out of the small waiting room, and back into his car. He drove to the restruaunt and walked inside. The hostess sat them at one of those corner booths, and Kurt sat in the middle, in between Blaine and Nick. She took their drink orders and walked away, and Nick opened his menu, ogling at his choices.

"Hm," Nick said. "Jeff always got this," he pointed to a burger on the page, "when we came here."

"What do _you_ usually get?" Kurt asked him.

"Salad," Nick said, and looked over at Blaine who was staring at him in awe. "Dude, I'm a vegan."

"Really?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah," Kurt said, the _duh _in his voice. "Even I knew that."

"How did you find out?" Blaine raised his eyebrow.

"The way he eats, it's obvious. He doesn't even eat pizza. Even I can't handle myself around pizza," Kurt giggled.

Nick shrugged and flipped through the menu absently. "What are you two getting?" Nick asked, shoving the slightly awkward conversation behind him.

"Burger," Blaine said, attention on his phone.

"Pancakes," Kurt smiled. "You can't go to Denny's and not get pancakes, it's ridiculous."

"Preach," Nick said. "I used to love pancakes."

"Why are you a vegan, anyways?" Blaine asked, looking up from his phone.

"Meat disgusts me, I haven't eaten it in over three years, and I dunno, I'm allergic to dairy anyways."

"Hm," Blaine said, looking back to his phone.

"Ignore him," Kurt said. "He's a carnivore."

Nick rolled his eyes and smiled at the waitress when she came to take their orders, handing them all their drinks. Blaine snatched his coffee off of the table, taking a huge gulp from it before setting it back down on the table.

The waitress took their orders and then walked away, and Nick jumped, then scrambled for his phone in his pocket, reading the text and rolling his eyes, typing a quick reply.

"That was Wes," He said. "But I gave my number to the doctor," Nick whispered. "Told him to call if he gets better." He swallowed, and continued. "Or worse."

"He's gonna be alright," Blaine assured him. "So are you both fully gay, or just bisexual?"

"Jeff's definitely gay, and I mean Fourth of July gay." Kurt chuckled, and Nick continued. "As for me, I don't know what I am. I was never attracted to anybody but him. I just call myself Jeff-sexual." Kurt and Blaine started to laugh, and Nick cracked a smile.

"You're adorable," Kurt smiled.

"I know," Nick said. He felt his phone vibrate, and excused himself from the table to take the call. He came back a few minutes later, clutching the phone in a death grip. "That was the doctor."

**I know, I know, I'm an evil little seamonkey. Reviews make me a happy seamonkey, even though I'm dead! (Ten points for understanding that, four and a package of Red Vines if you can find the AVPM reference.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay updates!**

* * *

><p>Nick sat down in the booth where he was before and put his head in his hands. "Is he al...?" Blaine stopped mid-sentence.<p>

Nicks arms fell slack and he began to sob, clutching at his upper arms, nails digging into his skin. Kurt shot a panicked look at Blaine and then scooted closer to Nick, pulling him into a hug, whispering into his hair. "H-he..." Nick stammered, trying to talk. "C-can you d-drive me b-back to the hospital?"

x-x-x-x-x

Nick had sat in silence for the entire car ride back. When they got to the hospital, he bolted back to Jeff's room like his life depended on it, Kurt and Blaine following slowly and stopping in the waiting room. Kurt walked into Blaine's arms and the shorter boy rocked them back and forth, Kurt sobbing into Blaine's shoulder. "This is all just so fucked up," Kurt whispered.

"I know, baby," Blaine hummed softly.

Nick's heart broke a little more when he saw Jeff lying on his hospital bed, his left arm covered in gauze. "Baby," he whispered. "Baby, why?" He moved closer to the bedside, taking the chair there and stroking Jeff's unharmed arm. "I loved you then," he kissed Jeff's hand. "Love you still." He gripped Jeff's hand and stood, kissing his shoulder. "Always have," kiss on the cheek. "Always will." He pecked Jeff on the lips before retracting with a sigh.

"Damn, I was hopin' that'd work," Nick said. "Do I have to sing to you?" He joked, and could only imagine the little blonde ball of energy that was _Jeff_ nodding his head vigorously and sitting in front of him obediently with his hands in his lap, almost like a puppy. "Alright, fine," Nick smiled.

_You're on my mind; every night  
>And in the morning when I wake<br>Don't leave me lonely; can you just hold me  
>Together before I break<em>

_I just can't breathe without you, without you  
>I'm so lonely without you, without you<br>'Cuz today, you are all I need _

_There is something; I see in your eyes  
>Oh, and it gives me butterflies<br>I just can't stop thinking; you make me weaken  
>Don't you know I will be true<em>

_I just can't breathe without you, without you  
>I'm so lonely without you, without you<br>I just can't be without you, without you  
>'Cuz today, you are all I need<em>

_I'm going crazy without you, oh  
>I'm going crazy without you, oh, going crazy<br>I'm going crazy without you, going crazy, going crazy_

_I just can't breathe without you, without you  
>I'm so lonely without you, without you<br>I just can't be without you, without you  
>'Cuz today, you are all I need.<em>

Nick felt his breath shudder as he sang the last note, the tears falling more freely from his face. "I wish I could see your eyes again, baby," he whispered, closing his eyes and taking in another shuddering breath. "They're so perfect, hell, baby, everything about you is. Your legs, your chest, your personality, oh my god your personality. You're so perfect, your smile makes me melt, your laugh just makes everyone around you _happier,_ baby. You're hilarious, and you have terrible self esteem for such a sexy beast. Your arms and legs... Especially your arms, hun, you have nice arms. Though I've probably told ya that before, haven't I?"

"You have," Jeff croaked, and Nick's eyes flew open.

"Jeffie," he breathed, and leaned in to kiss Jeff, but he turned his head away. "Jeffie, what's wrong?"

"I-Nick, I... I think you should leave."

"Jeffie," he protested. "We just started talking. And you have some fucking explaining to do," Nick gestured to Jeff's wrist. "Why, Jeffie?"

"Because," he whispered. "I'm ugly, fat, stupid, and a worthless faggot who doesn't deserve space on this earth."

"Baby, you know that's not true," Nick whispered, tears falling from his eyes again. "You're perfect."

"In your eyes."

"Who else matters, Jeff? We're in love, the onlooking eyes of society don't mean fucking anything. All that matters is you and I."

"Shut up. Just shut the fuck up." Jeff hissed. "Get the hell out of here, _now._ I didn't want to be saved."

"You're a liar," Nick's voice softened, showing Jeff that he meant no harm even though his voice had risen a bit. "I _know_ you, and I know you didn't want to die. I know that... Jeffie, please," he said, his voice cracking and more tears pouring from his eyes.

"I did want to die," Jeff said, avoiding Nick's eyes.

"You didn't want to die, Jeffie," Nick said, and Jeff opened his mouth to protest. "No, let me finish. You didn't want to die, you just wanted to escape. You didn't want your father breathing down your neck anymore; you didn't want the way that he looked at you for being gay anymore. You didn't want to get hurt anymore. I know, baby. I've been there, okay? You know you don't wanna die, you just wanna get out."

"I... Nick, please leave," Jeff muttered. "I just want to be alone." Nick whimpered quietly but stood to leave, sorrow in his eyes. "You look like a puppy that just got kicked, c'mere, baby," Jeff said, holding up his uninjured arm. Nick walked closer to him and Jeff grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him in for a long, passionate kiss. "I still love you, baby," he whispered. "I'll never stop loving you."

"I was so scared I'd lost you, baby," Nick whispered, sitting on Jeff's bed. "I s-saw you with the note in your h-hand, and everyt-thing just... Oh, god, there was so much blood, baby, I-I... You scared the hell out of me, I thought you were g-gone, and... I'm just so happy y-you're not," he stuttered around his tears.

"I'm sorry," Jeff whispered.

"Don't be sorry," Nick replied, looking up at the blonde. "J-just... Don't... Don't do it again, baby, please. I c-can't... I _won't_ lose you. You mean the world to me, you truly are my everything."

"I mean I'm sorry t-that I hurt you, baby, I thought that if I was gone, everything for you would just... Be okay again, I guess. I love you, Nicky," he whispered.

"It's worse without you." Nick whispered. "Did you hear me singing?" He asked timidly.

"Yes," Jeff said. "I heard everything. I've been awake the whole time, you know."

"Sneaky little fuck," Nick smiled. "But I really meant everything I said, and sang."

"Do you have a song solution for everything, or...?" Jeff smiled.

"Nope, that just seemed appropriate. Oh and what I said earlier this week... I still mean that too."

"About moving in with you? Absolutely not," Jeff said. "I refuse to." Nick felt his heart break a little. Was he not good enough? "I'm not gonna let you worry so much about me, I'll be fine with my aunt Mel."

"Jeffie, you hate it there. You said it yourself, it smells like cat and she can't cook. My house smells like... Well I don't know, but the opposite of cat, I guess, and I'm an amazing chef."

"I'd hardly call mac and cheese cooking," Jeff smiled. "And it smells like oranges, dryer sheets in some room, and Jessica in the rest," he said, referring to Nick's nine month old puppy.

"Hey, I can make toast too," Nick stuck his tongue out. "But seriously, the guest bedroom beside my room is just _dying _for you to sleep in it. And don't act like you haven't already claimed it, it's got some of your freakin' posters on the wall and a whole whack of your crap in it already. It's like your second bedroom."

"Third," Jeff pointed out.

"I'd hardly call a rickety loveseat a bedroom," Nick sneered.

"It's better than a box," Jeff smiled.

"You'd love to be a hobo," Nick giggled. "You get to mooch stuff off of people, and you can grow a beard to your waist. You said it yourself."

"Shut up, Nick, do you remember everything?"

"Everything," Nick confirmed and kissed Jeff on the nose. Jeff moaned quietly and pouted when Nick didn't kiss his lips. "I'll be right back, Klaine is waiting in the waiting room, and I gotta code red," he giggled, winking.

"N'aight," Jeff muttered. "Tell Klaine they're not allowed to eat each other's faces while they're in here though," Jeff laughed, remembering the day they had officially dubbed Kurt and Blaine as Klaine.

_Blaine had come to Warblers practice with Kurt with the biggest _I-just-had-sex_ look on his face, and Kurt was looking as smug as ever. Jeff was the first to notice, standing and high-fiving Blaine. "Did you finally get laid or something?" Trent had asked._

"_No," Kurt said, disgusted with the question. _

"_But," Blaine smiled. "I finally manned up and asked him out."_

"_I'd hardly call it asking me out. You sucked on my face over Pav's casket then bought me a coffee," Kurt smiled._

"_Our first coffee as official boyfriends," Blaine stuck his tongue out, and Wes banged his gavel._

"_Let there be Klaine!" Jeff yelled, earning a huge smile from laugh and a round of high fives. "Which reminds me," he said, turning to face Trent and a few others. "The four of you each owe me twenty dollars." A long groan and eighty bucks later, the group had finally settled down, definitely noticing Kurt's raging blush. _

"Jeff," Kurt said from the door, and rushed over to him, grabbing his right hand, sitting and looking him in the eyes. "Nick didn't talk the whole way here, he just cried. I... We thought you were d-we thought we lost you," he whispered. Blaine's hand lingered over Jeff's left, not sure if it would hurt his wrist. He settled on Jeff's shoulder, and Kurt continued. "Nick came out to get us, looking happier than I'd ever seen him before, and I was really confused, and then it started to make sense, and all I heard from him was _Jeff's okay_ and _he's gonna live,_ then he was just kinda gone," Kurt snickered.

"He had to go to the bathroom," Jeff shrugged. "He'll be back sooner or later."

"How are you feeling?" Blaine asked timidly, withdrawing his hand from the taller boy's arm, sitting down on the chair behind him.

"Like crap, I feel like I someone pulled out a .45 on me then pushed me in front of an ice cream truck," Jeff said.

"That's pretty damn specific," Kurt said. "You ever felt that before?"

"The .45, yeah," Jeff winced. "Ice cream truck, no. That'd be a pretty awesome way to die, though, wouldn't it?" He asked, making sure to steer the topic away about being shot.

"I think that death by fruit truck would be better," Kurt said. "Like, you're driving behind a fruit truck and then you're so interested by the oranges inside, then they all fall on your car and you get squished and die. That'd be pretty awesome media."

"You two are absolutely insane," Blaine said. "Obviously the best way to die is in a cage, and then have your owner get all upset then some guy fall in love with him the next day." That earned him a bitch glare from Jeff and Kurt actually stood up just to punch Blaine's shoulder.

"Smart ass," Kurt muttered.

"You three are all wrong," Nick said from the door, carrying two a bottle of Diet Coke, Minute Maid apple juice and two Sprites. He gave Kurt and Blaine their cola and apple juice and handed the other bottle of Sprite to Jeff. "I hope I don't get my ass kicked for that," he smiled, cracking open his bottle. "But anyways, the best way to die is definitely throttled by agents Three and Six." Jeff giggled, struggling with his bottle, and Blaine almost spit his apple juice out. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"So when am I gettin' outta this hellhole?" Jeff said after a couple of minutes of awkward silence.

"I dunno," Nick said, sighing. "Maybe we should tell a doctor you're up or something?"

"They already know," Jeff said. "This bed is really uncomfortable. And this hospital gown is ten kinds of awkward."

"I'll go ask the receptionist," Kurt said. "After all, I am your cousin," he giggled.

"I don't remember ever being related to you, but welcome to the family," Jeff smiled. Kurt giggled and walked out of the room, Blaine standing and following him out like a lost puppy.

"You know, Kurt isn't legal yet," Nick sighed.

"Shucks," Jeff said, a smug look on his face. "He can't vote."

"I don't think that he can sign you out without written clarification that you're related, and I think you've gotta be legal to do it anyways. We're gonna have to call your mom or your aunt or somethin' baby."

Jeff sighed. "Damn, okay. Is my phone here?"

"Yeah," Nick pulled Jeff's phone out of his pocket, fumbling with it and handing it to him. "I read the note," he whispered.

"Oh," Jeff said, his eyes clouding with tears. "J-just that one?"

"No," Nick said. "I read the one you left, the one on your phone and all the ones in your drawer."

"_Oh,_" Jeff said, surprised. "I've gotta hide shit better," he mumbled something then held the phone to his ear, implying the conversation was over. Nick flopped back into his chair and waited for Jeff to finish the phone call. "Hey, Aunt Mel— Yeah, it's Jeff— I need you to sign me out of— No, I'm in the— Aunt Mel, shut up for a second so I can talk, I'm at the hospital and I need you to sign me out— No, I don't know when, I'm hoping soon— I-I'll explain to you when you get here— Thanks— Love you too— Bye." Jeff sighed and hit end, handing the phone back to Nick so he could keep it in his pocket.

"How do I explain this to her?" Jeff sighed again, running his hand through his hair.

"You broke a mirror and fell onto a shard?" Nick tried.

"No, they're gonna talk about counselling, watch it happen. I don't want my father getting involved in this."

"Which reminds me," Nick said. "Do you mind if I tell my parents? I-I mean, they've gotta know why you're gonna be there for so long, and paying for your tuition and crap."

"Yeah, it's cool, I like your parents more than I like mine, and they love me," Jeff smiled, remembering all of their long sleepovers and summers spent together, effectively becoming part of their family.

"Aight," Nick said. "I'll call them later."

"You can leave tomorrow at ten with the consent of a parent, legal guardian or legitimate family member," Kurt said as he walked in. "Got busted. I would have gotten in trouble if you weren't awake to authenticate that I'm allowed in here."

"Harsh," Jeff said. He nodded at the nurse who was hovering awkwardly behind Kurt and Blaine. "He's cool. For further reference, this one," Jeff pointed to Nick, "is like family to me, and I think I'm gonna put him on my ICE because he'll take better care of me than my 'rents will."

"How old are you, Mr. Sterling?" The nurse asked.

"Turning eighteen in a few weeks," Jeff said.

"Okay, we can't release you without your parent or guardian's consent then."

"Aight," Jeff sighed. "Hey, how'd you find out my name anyway?"

"Kurt gave it to us before you got here," the nurse replied. "I'm gonna get a social worker in here later to talk to you about some things, and we'll contact your parents after that, okay?" She asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"You really shouldn't talk to me like I'm four," Jeff said, frustrated. "I'm an adult in three weeks."

"Two weeks and five days," Nick whispered to him.

"Same difference." Jeff sighed, and the nurse rolled her eyes and left. "Bitch," he whispered. "I hate hospitals."

"Which is weird because you've spent about forty-two percent of your life in them," Nick said, referring to all the bones he'd broken, joints he'd sprained and the vast amount of skin he'd needed stitched, and the three relocations he'd needed on his shoulders.

"I'm clumsy," Jeff shrugged.

"I know, sweetie, I know." Nick smiled and leaned down to kiss him. Jeff groaned when he pulled away.

"It's almost eight," Nick sighed after about twenty minutes of idle conversation. "We've gotta split soon."

"Don't leave, Nicky," Jeff pleaded.

"I have to, baby," he sighed. "I'll be here at nine, I promise."

"Fine," Jeff pouted. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you more," Nick said, winking and kissing Jeff again before digging in his pocket. "Hide it from the doctors, they go ape shit if they see phones. Text me later, okay?"

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow," Jeff said. Nick nodded and left with Kurt and Blaine following him quietly.

"Thank you so much," Nick said when they were out of earshot. "I really appreciate everything you two have done for me... For us," he said, gesturing toward Jeff's room. "It really does mean a lot to me, you two are totally awesome."

Kurt smiled and Blaine began to talk to him about some YouTube videos he'd never heard of.

Kurt handed his keys to Blaine, shaking his head when he opened his mouth to ask him why. He whispered something in his ear and then hopped into the passenger seat. Blaine began to drive, and Nick sat in the back seat, his forehead pressed up against the window. A few minutes later, he felt warm tears falling from his eyes, and hitting the car door. He sniffled and Kurt looked at him in the rear view mirror. "You okay?" He mouthed, and Nick shook his head. Kurt unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed into the backseat, sitting on the middle seat and pulled Nick into a hug. Nick trembled, his tears falling more freely. "What's the matter?" Kurt whispered.

"I don't know," Nick admitted. "I can't t-tell if I'm happy or upset right now," he sighed.

"Are you hungry?" Kurt said, trying to change the topic. "We didn't actually eat earlier, and I'm pretty damn hungry."

"Yeah, I could eat," Nick blushed. "Where's Blaine even going? Dalton's the other way, don't think I didn't notice that."

"We're gonna stay in a hotel tonight, Dalton's an hour drive from here and I don't think any of us are up for that." Kurt said, and hummed absently. Nick nodded and fished his phone out of his pocket when he felt it vibrate. There was a text from _Jeff the Great._ Nick smiled and opened the text.

"_They're making me go in for counselling and they're thinking of putting me on suicide watch or in a nut house or something. Am I really that crazy? Grr." _

"_What the actual fuck? You don't need suicide watch anyways; you've got me and Klaine now." _Nick replied, getting out of the car when Blaine parked. They walked into the restruaunt and they were seated rather quickly. Nick drummed on the table, waiting for Jeff to reply.

"_That is true. I'm like super hungry but they don't want to feed me anything that looks worth eating. The chicken looks sort of like a blob of... Ick, and I don't even know what the rest of the stuff is. This is really glamorous."_

"_Klaine and I are about to eat right now, I don't think I'm gonna be able to keep anything down, I'm really nervous and I wish I was with you."_

"_I'm staring at a picture of you right now, haha. It's the one that I snuck when you were working out once... Shirtless of course. You're supermegafoxyawesomehot, babe."_

"_I miss you."_

"_I miss you too, sweetheart. I get to see you and your beautiful face tomorrow. \o/" _

"_Likewise, dear. So there's something I gotta ask you."_

"_Shoot. Oh and also I get to see that wonderful ass of yours ;)"_

"_Mhm. Well, before all of this happened, you broke up with me, I don't suppose you remember that."_

"_Clear as day."_

"_So, we're together still, or?"_

"_No. I hate you, never talk to me again. No, I couldn't do that. We're still together, it was really stupid and I regret it and everything I did. I'm really, really sorry. Did I bruise you?"_

Nick frowned, not sure. He looked at his arm where Jeff had cut him with the pin, then looked down his shirt. Sure enough, there was a large purple bruise on his stomach. _"Yeah, it's no biggie though" _Nick typed, not noticing the looks he was getting from Kurt and Blaine.

"_Isn't that considered spousal abuse?"_

"_We weren't together, remember? Oh, and we aren't married."_

"_Yet."_ Nick felt his heart drop, staring at the text, dumbfounded. Jeff really wanted to marry him? He didn't think that he would, hence the reason he took their relationship slow, keeping it strictly above-the-belt. _"You stopped responding. Was that too forward?"_

"_No, I just kind of went into shock, sorry. You really wanna get married?"_

"_Of course, Nicky, are you stupid?"_

"_Yup."_

"_Oh, that explains a lot of things. But seriously, I really do want to marry you someday. This so isn't the proper conversation to be having over text message, is it?"_

"_No. At least you don't use 'txt tlk,' or else I would actually strangle you."_

"_Well I can barely spell half the words I'm typing, spellcheck is my god."_

"_You're the cutest thing ever. Klaine's glaring at me, I think they've been trying to converse with me... Fail."_

"You gonna have a conversation with us, or...?" Kurt asked when Nick looked up from his phone.

"Sorry," he said. "Jeff's being cute."

"I feel sorry for your parents," Kurt smiled. "They've had to deal with that for a lot longer than we have. How long have you two been friends?"

"Uh," Nick said, scratching his head. "About seventeen and a half years, give or take. I'm four days older than him, and we've been friends since we were six months old."

"That explains why you know everything about him," Blaine smiled.

"Oh, like you don't know everything about Kurt," Nick stuck out his tongue. "What's his favourite brand of peanut butter?" He said in a mocking tone.

"Kraft," Blaine replied.

"Shh," Kurt said. "People aren't supposed to know I like peanut butter."

"I don't suppose you know his?" Nick smiled.

"He likes Kraft too, but he likes the crunchy and whipped kinds, both of which are absolutely repulsive. Well, the crunchy stuff is bearable, but peanut butter isn't supposed to be freaking whipped."

"Well he's whipped, it suits him perfectly. I guess he likes the small jars?"

"I'm taller than you, thank you very much," Blaine glared at him.

"_I'm gonna go to sleep, feels like there's bricks on my eyes or something. I'll see you in the morning. I love you baby!" _

"_Sleep tight, sleeping beauty"_

"_fuck you." _

"_hm?" _

"_I'm beautiful. Bitches. Jeff out"_

"_Go to sleep, darlin' you're delusional."_

"_Like you didn't already know that." _

"_Touché, my love." _

"_I'm gonna start taking points off if you don't go to bed, Mr. Potter."_

"_Oh, please, I'm draco"_

"_THANKS HERMIONE."_

"_Haha, what?"_

"_Nevermind." _

"_I love you."_

"_I love you too!" _

By now, Nick was laughing too hard to reply to the questions Kurt and Blaine were asking.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh I couldn't hurt Jeff any more than I already did. Chapter five is written and ready to spring, so I'll post it later.<strong>

**Reviews are... Supermegafoxyawesomehot just like Nick without a shirt. And yes, I have too many bad AVPM references in this chapter to even be healthy.  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Le chapter five!**

* * *

><p>Jeff woke up to Nick's lips on his, and he pulled away immediately, putting his hand over his mouth. "Don't kiss me right now," he said, voice muffled by his fingers.<p>

"Why not?" Nick said, looking dejected.

"Morning breath," Jeff shrugged.

"I don't mind," Nick said, moving towards Jeff again, but he just shook his head.

"Time is it?" Jeff groaned.

"Nine," Nick said. "Kurt and Blaine left to go do something Klaine-y, then they're going to get your aunt."

"Okay," Jeff sighed. "Fuck, my breath is disgusting." Nick threw a package of gum at him and he smiled, popping a piece into his mouth. "I'm gonna get in shit for having this," he said, spitting it out into the wrapper when he could at least bear the taste of his breath. Nick took it from him and chucked it into the trash.

"Can I kiss you now?" Nick asked, and Jeff smiled, nodding. Nick grinned and attacked Jeff's lips, tangling his hands into Jeff's hair. "I love you," he whispered into the kiss.

"I love you too," Jeff said, pushing Nick's shoulders a bit so he would back off and sit down. "You look extremely sexy today," he complimented Nick, eyeing his outfit. Nick was wearing a pair of tattered converse, blue skinny jeans and a shirt that was just a bit too small for him, and it showed off all of his muscles.

"I only changed my shirt," Nick said. "I feel gross; I was too tired to shower last night so my hair's all greasy."

"I don't care, you look _delicious_," Jeff said, licking his lips.

"I'm not a cupcake," Nick said, faking offence and slapping a hand to his chest.

"Did you tell the Pips?" Jeff asked, changing the topic.

"Did I tell who what?"

"The Warblers. Didja tell 'em about this?" Jeff pointed at his arm.

"They know nothing. You're gonna be back at Dalton on Monday, so if you want we can pretend it never happened."

"There was an ambulance, Nick. You were there; you know there was commotion and a lot of staring. They probably know _someone_ got hurt by now."

"Eh," Nick shrugged. "Let them think what they want. If you want to tell 'em, it's your choice, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

"They deserve to know." Jeff said, the stern look on his face telling Nick the conversation was over.

"Oh, Jeffie," Melissa said from the doorway. "Hello, Nicholas," she smiled politely.

"Hey Miss S," Nick said.

"You ready to go?" Blaine asked Jeff, holding up a pile of clothes. "We got some of your stuff so you can change."

"Yeah," Jeff said. Blaine put the clothes on the foot of the bed and left with Kurt so Jeff could have some privacy. Jeff's aunt left as well, leaving only Nick.

"Do you want me to leave?" Nick asked awkwardly.

"No, I think I need help." Jeff sighed. Nick nodded and closed the door and walked back over to Jeff, handing him his boxers. He slipped them on under the covers, blushing to the tips of his ears. "Shut up," Nick said. "I've helped you change tons of times."

"This is the first time as boyfriends," Jeff pointed out. Nick nodded, then bent over a bit, working Jeff's sweatpants over his ankles and pulling them up to his thighs, helping Jeff stand and pull them on all the way. "This is so awkward and embarrassing," he whispered.

Nick rolled his eyes and kissed Jeff's chest before handing him his shirt, and he wrestled it on. He slipped into the flip-flops Blaine grabbed, just imagining Kurt's face of disgust as he did so. He pulled Nick into a kiss, happy he was finally standing at his full height again.

"This isn't fair," Nick pouted. "I used to be taller than you."

"Then I hit puberty," Jeff commented.

"Correction: puberty hit _you. Hard._"

"That sounds dirty," Jeff giggled.

"You're still four inside, aren't you?" Nick smiled, helping Jeff limp outside, where his aunt was waiting with Kurt, Blaine, his doctor and a nurse. The nurse had her hands on a wheelchair, which Jeff sneered at.

"You all ready to go, bud?" Melissa asked.

"Yup," Jeff said. The doctor handed him a few pieces of folded-up paper, and Jeff looked at him with his eyebrow raised.

"They're phone numbers of the places we discussed last night and other things of the sort." The doctor said, and Jeff nodded, watching as he walked away.

"I've gotta like, get in that thing now, don't I?" Jeff asked, looking at the wheelchair in disgust.

"Yeah," Nick said. "Sorry." Jeff let out a dramatic, audible sigh and sat in it, rolling his eyes. "Sorry," Nick whispered again, unlocking it and wheeling him down to the parking lot. They all squeezed into Kurt's car, and Kurt drove back to Melissa's house.

"Are you going to come back?" Melissa asked him.

"What do you mean?" Jeff asked.

"Are you going to stay with me still," Melissa stumbled.

"Oh." Jeff said, looking at Nick then pinching the bridge of his nose. "Nick offered up his guest room, and he actually lives in Westerville, so it'd be easier to get to school from there..."

"Alright," Melissa said. "Are you gonna get all your clothes now?"

"As much as I can, yeah," Jeff said, glaring at his stomach when it growled. "Hush, you."

An hour later, Jeff had all of his clothes packed in to the back of Kurt's Navigator, and he was in actual shoes, making Kurt happier than when he was wearing flip-flops. Kurt drove them to Nick's house and hugged Jeff as tight as he could without hurting him when he got out.

"Thank you," Jeff said. "All of you."

Kurt didn't reply, he just hugged Jeff again. "You're great to be around," Blaine stayed. "I'm really glad we found you when we did."

Nick nodded in agreement. "Thank you for driving us around, Kurt, I really appreciate it."

"I know you do, you showed that when you paid for gas money, both of our meals and the hotel rooms."

"And the hospital bill," Jeff added. "Even though I told him not to."

Nick shrugged. "It's the least I could do."

Nick and Jeff collected the suitcases and guitar from the back of Kurt's car, bringing them inside. Nick put all of Jeff's belongings in their proper spots, plugging in his laptop and putting it on the desk and standing his guitar up in the corner, and Jeff hung all of his clothes in the closet, and they both flopped down on the bed when they were done, staring at the purple ceiling when they were done. A few minutes later, they found themselves tangled together by the legs and arms, their tongues battling for dominance against each other.

A few hours later, they were inside of Nick's huge walk-in closet. He used it as a studio of some sorts—he had two guitars, a keyboard, a huge stereo and a drum set inside there instead of clothes. Nick was sat in front of the keyboard, idly playing _Midna's Lament_ from Jeff's favourite video game, Twilight Princess, and Jeff was sitting on the floor, tuning his guitar.

"I've never been able to properly play the left hand on that song, kudos," Jeff smiled. "It's really confusing, it's just up and down the whole song, and the rest of the song is just... It's unexplainable, you're like some kind of god."

"I'm just Nick," Nick smiled, still playing.

"Nicky?" Nick's mom, Angela, called from the bottom of the stairs. "Are you home?"

Nick called out, "yup, Jeff's here too," and then hit a few random notes on the keyboard when he screwed up.

"Hi Jeffie! You staying for dinner tonight?" She asked, making her way up the stairs.

"Yeah," Nick replied for Jeff. "He's sleeping over for at least two weeks and five days," Nick said with a smirk. She was standing in the doorway to the closet with a confused look on her face.

Jeff stood up, leaving the guitar on the ground and straightening his shirt before walking up to her, pulling her into a hug. "Is everything okay at home, Jeff?" She asked after pulling away.

"Meh," Jeff shrugged. "Could be better."

"Don't lie to me," Angela warned him, her intentions pure. Hell, she'd practically raised Jeff along with Nick, so she knew when he was lying.

"Dad got violent again," Jeff said. "Basically got kicked out, some stuff happened, I landed in the hospital, and I'm here now."

"Were you hurting yourself again?" Angela asked, her heart breaking a little when Jeff nodded gingerly. She felt tempted to reach out and smack the boy upside the head, but decided against it. "Take care of yourself, okay?" She asked Jeff. "You're welcome here for as long as you need to stay, granted you already know that, though. Dinner's in twenty minutes."

"Thank you," Jeff breathed.

"De rien," Angela said, leaving the room. Jeff closed the door and turned to Nick, kissing him passionately. He crawled onto Nick's lap, thrusting his tongue inside of Nick's mouth.

"Fuck," Jeff breathed, leaning his head back. Nick stood and carried Jeff into his bedroom, laying them both on the bed. Nick began to kiss Jeff again, nipping at his neck. Jeff grinded his hips up into Nick's, creating a friction between them that really turned Nick on. Nick closed his eyes and then began to nibble on Jeff's ear, then kissed a soft trail of butterfly kisses down to his collarbone, undoing a few buttons on his shirt so he could kiss his chest. Nick tangled his hands into Jeff's hair and began to kiss his lips again, and Jeff flipped them over, his hands moving down to cup Nick's ass in his hands. He moved them over Nick's hips, then began to unbutton Nick's jeans.

"Jeff," Nick moaned. "Jeff. Stop."

Jeff whimpered but moved his hands back to Nick's waist. "Do you not want to have sex with me or something?" He whispered.

"No, I do," Nick sighed. "We're just not ready, physically or emotionally."

"Speak for yourself," Jeff groaned.

"I don't want to end up doing something we might regret just because we're both horny, okay? I want it to mean something... That's why I suggest we keep it above the belt, I don't want to take your virginity from you, not right now at least."

"I'm not a virgin," Jeff reminded him.

"Penetrative virginity," Nick corrected himself. Jeff sighed and moved himself so he was lying next to Nick, staring up at the ceiling. They lay in silence for about twenty minutes, enjoying the scent of each other.

"I could get used to this," Jeff whispered.

"What, dear?" Nick hummed.

"Living in the same house as you, being able to just walk over into your room and do _this_," Jeff quickly kissed Nick's lips before continuing, "Whenever I please."

"As could I, dear," Nick smiled, lacing his hand into Jeff's hair, brushing the blonde locks from his hazel eyes before kissing Jeff's forehead, whispering "I love you."

Jeff groaned when his stomach growled again, feeling it seize a little. "I feel sick," he said, swallowing.

"You gonna throw up?" Nick asked, frowning.

Jeff shook his head. "No, I don't think so, I'm just really freakin' hungry."

As if on cue, Angela called, "Dinner's ready!" from the bottom of the stairs. Jeff licked his lips and Nick rolled his eyes, following Jeff down the stairs, almost tripping because Jeff had turned into a blonde ball of energy.

"Slow down, don't get eaten by the dog toys," Nick said, kicking at the plastic and stuffed bones on the ground. His dog, Jessica, looked up from her perch on the couch when she heard the squeak of the toys. "Go to sleep," he waved the Border Collie off and went into the kitchen, stopping in the doorway. His mom had ordered Chinese, made a fruit salad and cooked some curly fries (one of Jeff's favourite things to eat when he was upset).

Once Jeff was finished stuffing his face, having to stop twice in fear of throwing up, they found themselves on Nick's comfortable, queen sized bed. They were wrapped in each other's arms, Nick's mouth attached to Jeff's collarbone.

"Hey Jeffie?" Nick whispered after a few minutes of content silence.

"Yeah?" Jeff said, looking down at the smaller boy.

"You're beautiful." Nick said and held himself up on his arms so he could kiss Jeff's lips.

Jeff pulled away from Nick, and held him so they were snuggling. "I don't know how you see it," Jeff admitted. "I've never thought I was any of the things you've told me I was. I don't think I'm beautiful, or funny, or smart, or a good singer. I'm just me, the awkward, frumpy Harry Potter nerd I've always been."

"Jeff, you are absolutely alluring. From your eyes to that little freckle above your eyebrow, or all the freckles here," Nick brushed his hand along Jeff's cheek and neck. "You're absolutely hilarious, you know that. How many times have you made me stain something because I spilled something on it, or spit out something I was drinking? Not to mention the handful of times I've peed myself from something you've said, come on. And you _are_ smart. You're amazing at math, and you're one of the best writers I know, your stories are some of the best things I've ever read. Whenever I'm upset, I know I can just go over onto your LJ or something and find something amazing that you've written. Just because Blaine gets all of the solos doesn't mean you're a bad singer, the council just thinks he's better. They've never _truly_ heard you sing though, you don't put emotion into your performances. If you were to audition with one of the songs you've written, I know you'd get a solo, because you have the single most amazing voice I've ever heard, and you can play almost any instrument somebody hands you. Sure, you're awkward, and sometimes you can't match your outfits, and you geek out over Harry Potter, but everybody has flaws. I happen to think your flaws are absolutely adorable though, babe."

"Nick," Jeff sighed. "You should stop flattering me so much. I'm not perfect, okay?"

"Nobody is. But I think that you're as close to perfect as anything can get." Nick said, smiling. "Come here, I want to play you a song." He stood and walked into his closet, turning on his piano and sitting on the bench, scooting over so Jeff could sit with him. He played a few notes, trying it out, making sure he was playing it properly before he started.

_I've been alone; surrounded by darkness  
>I've seen how heartless the world can be<br>I've seen you crying; you felt like it's hopeless  
>I'll always do my best to make you see<em>

_Baby you're not alone  
>'Cuz you're here with me<br>And nothing's ever gonna bring us down  
>'Cuz nothing can keep me from lovin' you<br>And you know it's true  
>It don't matter what will come to be<br>Our love is all we need to make it through_

_Now I know it ain't easy; but it ain't hard trying  
>Every time I see you smiling and I feel you so close<br>To me; and you tell me_

_Baby you're not alone  
>'Cuz you're here with me<br>And nothing's ever gonna bring us down  
>'Cuz nothing can keep me from lovin' you<br>And you know it's true  
>It don't matter what will come to be<br>Our love is all we need to make it through_

_I'm still in trouble; I trip and stumble  
>Trying to make sense of things sometimes<br>Oh, I look for reasons, but I don't need 'em  
>All I need is to look in your eyes, and I realize<em>

_Baby I'm not alone  
>'Cuz you're here with me<br>And nothing's ever gonna take us down  
>'Cuz nothing can keep me from lovin' you<br>And you know it's true  
>It don't matter what will come to be<br>Our love is all we need to make it through_

_Oh, 'cuz you're here with me  
>And nothing's ever gonna bring us down<br>'Cuz nothing, nothing nothing!  
>Can keep me from loving you<br>Oh, and you know it's true  
>Oh, It don't matter what will come to be<br>Our love is all we need_

_Our love is all we need  
>To make it through<em>

Nick pulled his hands away from the piano and turned to Jeff, who had tears in his eyes. "C'mere, you fool," Jeff said, pulling Nick into a hug. "You are everything to me," he whispered.

"As are you," Nick whispered back. "I love you so much, baby."

"As do I," Jeff kissed Nick's ear. "I'll love you forever."

* * *

><p><strong>The end!<br>(Or is it?)**

**Reviews are the Diet Coke to my Chris Colfer, the blue headband to my Joey Richter. :3  
><strong>


	6. Epilogue

**In which Kayla decides to write an epilogue. Expect a few more chapters soon! :)**

_(formerly kailamatoso)_

* * *

><p>On Monday, Jeff and Nick had reluctantly made their way back to Dalton. Luckily, they had all of their classes together, so Nick could silently fuss over Jeff without getting worried. Nobody had mentioned the ambulance. Jeff figured that either they found out or stopped caring. In Warbler practice, however, people were still trying to figure it out.<p>

"Anything yet?" Trent had asked as he came in a few minutes early, dumping his bag on the table. Only Jeff, Nick, Kurt, Blaine and the council were there so far.

"Anything on what?" Jeff and Nick had asked at the same time, then smiled goofily at each other.

"The ambulance that was here the other day," Trent replied. "We've been trying to figure out who was in it. We've ruled out all the freshmen, to Wesley's dismay."

"Quiet," Wes waved him off.

"It was me," Jeff said.

"Jeff," Thad sighed. "What have we told you about hurting people?"

"No, I mean it was me in the ambulance, you asshat." Jeff snuggled into Nick's side, trying to halt the discussion.

"Is that why you two weren't here this weekend?"

Nick nodded, and Jeff sighed sleepily.

"Did somebody hurt you?" Trent asked possessively.

"Guys," Jeff sighed. "I'm fine, it's nothing."

"It's not _nothing_ if you were in an ambulance," David noted.

"Klaine, why don't you have anything to say about this?" Thad asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We have separate names," Kurt said, agitated.

"They were with us," Jeff said after Kurt had finished with his bitchy reply.

Wes, Thad, David and Trent looked like they all had questions to ask, but they were cut short by all of the rest of the Warblers simultaneously filing in, as if they had been accumulating outside of the doorway as the other boys were having their discussion.

"This isn't over," Trent warned right before Wes hit his gavel to start the meeting, giving Jeff the feeling that he would have a lot of questions to come. He didn't care, he'd answer them all. So long as he had Nick with him, he felt as if he could climb a mountain.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews are awesome! <strong>


	7. Post Epilogue

**Because a chapter where the Warblers interrogate Jeff was requested. **

* * *

><p>Once Warbler practice ended, Wes dismissed everyone except for the remainder of the council, Trent, Blaine, Kurt, Jeff, and Nick. Jeff pulled his knees to his chest and put his head on his knees, staring at the council through glassy eyes.<p>

"Why were you in the ambulance?" Thad asked softly.

"Why does it matter?" Jeff whispered, a stray tear running down his cheek.

"Because we need to know if we have to hurt someone for hurting you," Wes replied to Jeff, trying to make affection cover the anger in his voice.

"Trust me," Jeff said. "If anybody hurt me, Nick would be in jail right now. I'm fine, guys, really."

Kurt stood up, taking Blaine by the wrist. "If you'll excuse us," he muttered. "We already know what happened, and I have homework. C'mon." They left without a backwards glance, and Nick pulled Jeff into an awkward half-snuggle.

"I love you," Nick whispered into Jeff's temple, kissing it.

Jeff closed his eyes and let more tears leak out onto his cheeks, feeling them eventually reach his knees. He wrapped his arms further around his legs, burying his face into his lap as he cried. He wished he hadn't broken down, but now that the tears were flowing they wouldn't stop. Nick held him, glaring at Trent momentarily when he took a step towards them, and then burying his face into Jeff's hair. Soon, all the others except Thad had filed out. Thad left for a few moments and came back with a bottle of cold water, and handed it to Nick.

Nick thanked him and opened it, coaxing Jeff into lifting his head and taking a few sips of it. Nick reached down and put the bottle on the floor, then started to sweep Jeff's bangs away from his forehead. "Jeffie," he whispered. "I love you so much. You don't have to cry, okay? We've got you... I'm gonna take good care of you, alrighty?" Jeff sniffled and nodded, looking up at Nick with a lost look in his eyes.

"T-Thad..." Jeff stuttered. "C-I don't want anyone else knowing about this..."

"They all saw you crying, Jeffie," Nick whispered. "It's not really a secret."

"N-not that," Jeff mumbled. "Thad, I trust you. Come here." Thad listened and kneeled in front of Jeff. "Take my hand." Thad did so, giving Jeff a confused look. "Now pull up my sleeve." Thad frowned and swallowed hard, reluctant to do so as he suddenly knew what was under there.

"Jeff," Thad whispered.

"I trust you won't tell anybody?" Jeff asked sullenly. Thad nodded and Jeff smiled a bit. "Good." Jeff stood and left the room, leaving a dazed Nick to stare after him.

"You two are gonna get married," Thad said after a few seconds. "I can see it in the way you look at him."

"I know we are," Nick smiled happily. "Until that day I'm just happy I have him, and I plan on taking care of him the best I can. I should probably go be with him now. Thank you, Thad."

"For what?" Thad tilted his head, but Nick was already gone.

_He's such a fool in love. _

* * *

><p><strong>I'm gonna post 1 more chapter. Then this story is done for good.<strong>_  
><em>


	8. Alternate Ending

"That was the doctor."

Nick sat down in the booth where he was before and put his head in his hands. "Is he al...?" Blaine stopped mid-sentence.

Nicks arms fell slack and he began to sob, clutching at his upper arms, nails digging into his skin. Kurt shot a panicked look at Blaine and then scooted closer to Nick, pulling him into a hug, whispering into his hair. "H-he..." Nick stammered, trying to talk. "C-can you d-drive me b-back to the hospital?"

"Yeah," Kurt whispered. "Of course." Nick stood, and Blaine pulled the shorter boy into a hug, rubbing his back.

"You're gonna be okay," Blaine reassured him. Nick shook his head, but didn't speak or pull away from the embrace. He was too numb. Kurt took Nick's hand, and Nick leaned heavily against the countertenor as they walked to Kurt's car. Blaine got into the driver's seat, taking them to the hospital as quickly as he could.

Nick sobbed into Kurt's shirt, and Kurt's heart sank. Kurt pulled Nick as close as he could to his chest, but he felt as if he could never make Nick happy. When they got to the hospital, Nick struggled against his seatbelt and then raced to Jeff's hospital room, with Kurt rushing behind him. Kurt stopped the sobbing boy, giving him a look with pain in his eyes. "Nick, do you really think you should?"

"I have to," Nick sobbed. "I have to see him." Nick didn't care that Jeff was just an empty shell now. He just wanted to see his boyfriend's face again, spare that it was devoid of colour and life this time.

"Should I go with you?" Kurt whispered, and Nick shook his head.

"I need to do this alone. It's the last time I'm gonna be able to see him alone. Please give me that, Kurt." Nick felt a fresh batch of tears fall down his face, but he didn't sob. Kurt nodded and walked back to Blaine, sinking to the floor next to the shorter boy and starting to cry. Nick pretended not to notice as he walked into Jeff's hospital room, where the doctors had agreed to keep him for a little while longer so Nick could say goodbye.

"Jeff," Nick choked out, running to his boyfriend's side and grabbing his hand. The skin on Jeff's face was pale, as if the pink tinge that was always in his cheeks had just disappeared. His hand was still warm, creating the illusion to Nick that he could still be okay. When Nick put his hand on Jeff's chest, he felt his heart shatter even more. Jeff's body was completely still. Nick leaned down and brushed his lips on his boyfriend's forehead, and watched a few of his tears fall onto the cold, pale skin below him. He took Jeff's other hand and placed one more kiss on Jeff's forehead before releasing him completely.

"I'll never stop loving you, Jeff." He whispered. He stood to his full height and choked out, "just like I know you never stopped loving me." He took one last look at Jeff and then left the hospital room, stumbling over to where Kurt and Blaine were sitting on the floor.

Kurt was on his feet shortly after Nick approached them, taking the shaking boy into his arms. "C-can we leave?" Nick whispered. "I-I don't… I _can't, _Kurt."

Kurt nodded, and helped Nick stumble out of the hospital, back to Kurt's car. Kurt and Nick took the positions they had earlier, with Nick sobbing and shaking into Kurt's chest. Blaine silently drove them back to Dalton, and ran inside before Kurt had the chance to help Nick up.

Nick's shaking legs somehow managed to clamber to Blaine's dorm, and then into Blaine's roommate's bed. Nick didn't question why he was sleeping in someone else's bed; he just took the pillow on it and hugged it to his chest, sobbing into it until he fell into a listless slumber. Kurt sat behind him and rubbed his back while he fell asleep, being able to offer no other form of comfort.

Nick dreamt of nothing but periodic darkness and memories of him and Jeff. He had never had a more realistic dream, and it brought back all of the good things he loved about Jeff. When he woke up, he was still clutching the pillow uselessly. He chucked it to the side and stood, realizing he was still wearing his jeans and shoes. He chucked those both off and then got back into the bed, trying to fall back asleep.

x-x-x-x-x

On Monday, Nick skipped all of his classes (with consent from the principal), but attended Warbler's practice, against his better judgment. He hadn't thought people would still be talking about the ambulance on Friday, but they were. Kurt had gone home because he was sick and his father wouldn't allow him to stay at Dalton when Carole should be taking care of him, so he only had Blaine.

Since Nick felt weird hanging off of Blaine, he sort of just shut himself out of conversations and stared into a corner.

"…where he is?" Thad's voice could be heard, louder than the others. "Nick!" Thad clapped his hands in front of the other boy's face.

"Yeah," Nick snapped his gaze to Thad.

"Do you know where Jeff is? We haven't seen him all day."

"Yeah, i-in the morgue," he replied bitterly, doing his best from crying.

Thad's eyes widened and the rest of the Warblers fell silent, including Blaine who was staring at Nick with wide eyes that seemed to say, _why did you tell him that way?_ But Nick didn't care.

"Nick, what happened?" Thad whispered, sitting next to the brunet with a look of concern on his face.

"What happened? What fucking happened? Are you _serious,_ Thad?" Nick cried. "Jeff's _dead,_ that's what happened."

"I-I get that," Thad stuttered. "How?"

"H—"

"It doesn't matter how it happened," Blaine interrupted Nick. "It never does. All that matters right now is that he's gone and Nick needs somebody in his life to _care,_ so if you guys could provide that for him it'd be better than sitting here interrogating him on how his boyfriend died. Get a heart, guys."

"I'm sorry," Thad whispered, and Nick shrugged.

"It isn't your fault. I'm gonna go," he replied, standing up. He walked briskly from the common room and to his own dorm room, shutting the door before Blaine could follow him in. He locked it and shucked his uniform off, then cuddled himself onto Jeff's bed, inhaling the beautiful mixture of cinnamon and mint that was Jeff. He cuddled Jeff's pillow, trying to channel the memories of a time when he was happy.

x-x-x-x-x

Twelve years after the day Nick lost Jeff, he still thought about the blond daily. He thought about how happy they were together, how they had grown up together, and how beautiful the other boy was.

Nick had finally forced himself to move on after seven years, and found a beautiful girl only two years younger than him. They married a year and a half later, and had a baby boy that Nick asked to name Jeff. His wife knew about his best friend/boyfriend, so she readily agreed.

Nick watched as Jeff grew, his son reminding him more and more of his best friend. He had the same sparkle in his eye that the blond always had when he was feeling mischievous or ambitious, and he possessed a lot of the qualities that Jeff had. Nick's son was later turned into a Harry Potter nerd as Nick read the books to him every night before he went to bed until they finished the whole series. Every weekend, Nick would take his son to visit Jeff's gravestone, and they sat and talked about things that weren't relevant but things that Jeff would have appreciated talking about. Nick knew that had Jeff still been alive, they would have been married somewhere far from Westerville with a few adopted children, happy.

But looking at his son, who was a spitting image of himself with Jeff's personality, he realized that, even though he had thought it before, he wasn't settling for second best, because this was just as good. He was happy with a family he loved, had a well-paying job and knew that somewhere up there, Jeff was watching over him.

Nick kept that thought in his head, sporting a smile on his face until the day he died.


End file.
